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Mammoth Lifestyle & Fitness's Forum
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| Viewing Page 1 of 1 (Total Posts: 3) |
| Author | Comment |
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RollsCanHardly
May 11, 08 - 7:44 PM |
Mrs Clamp your help is needed!
Dear Mrs Clamp Knowing you are a fountain of all knowledge I desperatly seek your advice. My youngest trainee mountain biker has taken a pair of scissors to her hair apparently she overheard the comments of a close friend who said every piece of excess weight is important in the pursuit of perfection in mountain biking (you know who you are!) and I do not know what to do about it please advise. 
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shaggy
May 12th, 2008 - 10:46 AM |
Re: Mrs Clamp your help is needed!
take the scissors to the adviser . . . . . hair is precious as it can be used for bad (or good) voodoo . . . |
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Clamp
May 16th, 2008 - 7:23 AM |
Re: Mrs Clamp your help is needed!
Well, well, well. The answer depends on the age of the trainee mountain biker. If they are still realtively ankle-biting size and age then you can almost forgive them their transgressions as they know no better. To maintain appearances though, I can offer a few tips. You're welcome to use one or all as the occasion demands. Visit a local habidashery establishment and buy a really big rose. Sellotape it to the bald patch and pretend she's going to be a bridesmaid. Put a circle of baco-foil over the bald patch and tell everyone she's a moonbeam in the school play. Continue cutting the hair into several more patches as creatively as possible and pass them off as crop circles. We're pretty rural round here so this tip could work. Cover her face in flour, paint dark circles around her eyes and send her out early for 'trick or treat'. Take lots of photos, save them for when she's older and use them to keep boyfriends away. That'll please daddy. Give all the family the same haircut and use public transport for a few weeks. You'll have nobody bothering you or sitting by you. Run away to Butlins until it's all grown back. Tips for the adviser: Give them a sleeping pill and give him/her the same haircut while they're spark out. Make them babysit until it's all grown back. Apply gaffer tape to their lips on entering the house. Take their drink away from them. Contact social services. Hope these tips make you feel better and in more control - anything to help out. 
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