So. Um I have two kids. One with a girl that I have been with since highschool. We split on bad terms and I now have a two year old daughter with her. Sh almost never lets me see her and it kills me. I want to be a good father but just dont know how. But my daughter loves me and is all about me whenever im there. Love her mother with all of my heart. After she had my daughter. I slept with another ex. I had been drinking a lot. And found out that she too was pregnant. I knew her for a good three months. And I figure. Pro choice. I now have a great son. Who is one and a couple of months. He doesnt really know me very well. And my daughters mom blames me for having a son. Everything has been up in the air for months. Ive been working out scheduals trying to find my footing. Both mothers have feelings that I will never grow up. I love both of them and my children. But its always a fight. And I feel like im breaking down. How will I ever be a full time dad? How will things be. Cut to today. I find out another girl that is moving away is pregnant with my kid. Im unemployed, a full time student, and an alcoholic. Now I have a third child. Everyone told me everything will work out and I have a big heart. I dont want my kids to hurt. And I know just off of my situation my kids wont be getting the love or care they deserve. I just feel worthless. I just want to feel happy and I want to have my children be happy too. But all I can think is maybe im not the best per sd on to be a dad. Im irresponsible. I miss everything with my kids cause im poor or drunk. And now I am having three. I just feel like maybe my time is up. I have dishonored my family. Who only knows about my daughter. And ill never be the best dad. Maybe its time to step out. Permanantly. They deserve bettet than me.