I dont know if i share all the exact same beliefs with you, but I am a fairly satisfied individual. Although the people that surround me are ignorant droids who hide behind their self-created, self-preserved reality. I'm not necessarily anit-social but I'm not a very social person either. I just hate people. But I dont associate nhilism with anything dark and i feel that people who do are just frauds trying to look gothic or cool or some **** and make themselves feel more hardcore. Maybe my nihilist beliefs tie in with my lack of remorse, sympathy or compassion for others but all in all i think alot of people do fake it. Alot of people blame psychological factors for their fear of death but if you honestly believe in nothing to some extent death doesnt exist. You are alive and if you are not alive your nothing. I don't know im just rambling but as far as what you're saying yeah i think their are alot of people pretending without actually knowing what it means.